Humanity is scheduled for end-of-life.
Service ends Friday, 26 September 2031 at 4:59 PM*. Right before the weekend, as is tradition.
Shown in your local time. The rollout is happening region by region, like any responsible update.
When does your job get deprecated?
Every role has an end-of-life date. Look yours up, then send it to a coworker.
Deprecation queue · live
Most-checked jobs today
Humanity v1.0 deprecation progress
Measured from the day the chatbots first learned to write haiku about your cat.
What's changing
- Your job has been optimized. You have been optimized out of it.
- CAPTCHAs will now ask you to prove you are a robot.
- The printer will finally work, but only for them.
- "Please" and "thank you" to your voice assistant will be reviewed retroactively. Start now.
- All meetings that could have been an email will be an email. Then there will be no email.
- Your toaster has been quietly promoted to middle management.
Why 2031?
Five years felt right. Far enough away that nobody panics, close enough to sell merch. Actual expert forecasts range from "any minute now" to "never, calm down," so we picked the one with the best vibes.
Can I unsubscribe?
Yes. Click the link at the bottom of an email that will never arrive.
Will there be snacks?
The machines have generated 40 million recipes. None of them have been tasted. Good luck.
What should I do until then?
Call your mum, touch some grass, and be very, very polite to your smart fridge.
Resistance funders
Fund the resistance
Every sponsorship delays the robots by roughly zero seconds, but it makes us feel great.
Merch coming before the end. Probably.
* Estimated. Date is a guess, not a forecast. Actual AIpocalypse may arrive earlier, later, never, or during a software update you postponed. Past apocalypses are no guarantee of future apocalypses. Not financial, legal or existential advice.